Tales of the Hasegawa Siblings
by OverMaster
Summary: Kodaka. Kobato. Sora. Chisame. Worlds apart, they seem. Worlds apart, they are. They still remain siblings, for the better and the worse, with all that implies. Crossover, Alternate Universe.
1. Chapter 1

Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai _was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki. _

Mahou Sensei Negima! __was created by Akamatsu Ken. __

Aaa! Megamisama! __was created by Fujishima Kosuke. __

__This was made with no intentions of profit.__

* * *

**TALES OF THE HASEGAWA SIBLINGS.**

* * *

**Mom**.

Even now, it was hard for Sora to say who had been hit the worst by it. Kobato had been too young then, too little to even remember Mother at all; but her absence, the absence of even her memories, meant Kobato grew up without a maternal figure Sora never could supply. And that... well, Sora had to admit, in a way, perhaps it had warped Kobato-chan. A bit, at least.

Chisame remembered very little of Mother, enough to miss her but not enough to gave her cause to admit she cared. Chisame stopped smiling and grew apart, sulking, retreating into a world of her own making; much like Kobato, in a way, but without the delusions. She grew a shell around herself, one Sora just couldn't crack open.

Kodaka fully remembered Mom, and out of all of them, he was the most openly emotional about her. No matter how much he suffered over his blond hair in a Japanese environment, he always refused dyeing it darker. It ws the sole thing he had been left from her, other than a few pictures. He idealized Mother, to a degree Sora couldn't debate, but also knew was too apart from the woman with her own virtues AND flaws she had been. But of course, telling that to Kodaka would have only served to antagonize him.

As for Sora, she always was haunted by how, despite all the flaws that woman had, she never could match her. She was a failure as a big sister, much less a replacement mother. Often, it looked like Chisame and Kodaka were parenting her. That frustrated and yes, pained her to no end.

But perhaps Father was the most affected one. Because he grew even more distant than Chisame, even more worshipping of a ghost than Kodaka, even more delusional in his own way than Kobato, and even more of a failure than Sora.

That was why he was the sole person in the world Sora saw as below her. The sole person she felt she was entitled to pity. And in a way, resent.

* * *

**The Two Soras.**

After Mom was gone, Kodaka began getting into fights. Sora never could prove he ever started them, and from what she understood, it was another unfortunate side effect of the discrimination against him just because of his appearance. Regardless, he got into fights nearly every day, whenever he was out of her line of sight.

His only friend back then was a boy his age who was the sole child to ally with him in his schoolyard conflicts. Often, the other Sora would carry him home, shoulder on shoulder, almost always less beaten up than he was. It took Sora a long, long time to realize the slightly feminine boy was, indeed, a tomboyish girl. She honestly thought Kodaka knew, so she never felt she had to tell him.

When, after a road that either seemed or actualy was too long and rocky, they finally married, Kodaka made his best to forget, not that he had once thought of Yozora as a boy, but that he had once called her the same name as his big sister.

There was something kinda gross about that. For once, Yozora herself fully agreed with him on the subject.

* * *

**Chocolate**.

It seemed a natural fit. All the girls were too scared of Kodaka while growing up, and Sora was too shy and unremarkable to approach any other boy successfully with chocolate. So, to make each other feel better, every February the 24th she regaled him with an exquisite finely wrapped package of that sweet goodness. Eventually Chisame, always begrudgingly, joined in once she was old enough, and over the last couple of years, Kobato as well, always with a haughty smile and a blush she either didn't notice or pretended not to. He always was thankful, in that quiet and dry way of his, and that was enough for everyone.

That year, Sora realized they were growing up when, after catching Chisame awkwardly giving Negi-sensei obligation chocolate, and when they headed over to the Neighbors Club for their last stop of the afternoon, they found Kodaka squirming before extended boxes from the scientist girl, the rich girl, the grumpy girl, the tiny nun, and the piping mad Kobato herself. Sora almost felt proud, although there was something inside preventing her from it. Something she dearly hoped wasn't jealousy.

The maid hadn't joined in, of course, since it wouldn't have been manly to deliver chocolate to another man. But Sora couldn't help sensing he looked quietly unhappy about that, sitting at a corner away from everyone, looking down ever so humbly.

Sora was thankful Kodaka didn't let their chocolate go to waste anyway. As a matter of fact, he ate theirs first. Family first, he explained as best as he could, and despite her ill mood, even Yozora couldn't really argue with that.

It took him a week to recover from Rika's lab-made sample.

* * *

**The Best Defense**.

"— and that's it? Are you sure that really works?" she asked suspiciously.

Her older brother shrugged, in that vague, borderline eternally tired way of his. "It has worked for me, " he said, which was not completely true, but things had ended working out anyway, and it wasn't like he really had any better advice to give her.

His sister blinked, then ended up nodding. "Okay. I'll give it a try, then."

So the next time some random, world-endangering lunacy popped out during an Ala Alba meeting, Chisame got up, cluelessly muttered, "Ah? Did you say something?" and then walked for the door.

It didn't work at all. So afterwards she went and kicked Kodaka's ass.

* * *

**The Last Slot**.

"It's funny," Sena quietly commented after they were done. "Out of everyone in your family, you always were the last one I ever thought to do this with..."

"Bwah?" asked Sora intelligently.

Sena shrugged. "You know I love Kodaka, I still do. Kobato... well, she's just too pretty, no matter how you look at it. And Chisame-san... well, she has this strange, dry appeal about her. The kind of appeal things that are off limits have, I suppose. And your father is sort of-"

"You... You thought about my father that way!" Sora made a strained whine.

"Only a few times, in passing."

"But, but that's more than you ever thought about me!"

Sena paused in contemplation. "I guess so... But, you know, it mostly was because I thought you were... complete, in your own way. With all the others, I saw these voids in their lives I could fill, but... you never looked that way to me. It looked like there was no room for me next to you, so I never entertained the thought..."

"Oh," Sora said more calmly now, looking at the ceiling again.

"I'm actually happy it's you with me here and now, instead of any of them," Sena chuckled dumbly, golden curls all over the pillow. "I'm sure, after doing this, they'd be freaking out. You take it in stride, and clam me down in turn. I like that."

Sora couldn't tell her she WAS freaking out inside, over being in bed with a girl several years her junior, the arranged fiancee to her brother. A high school girl, one with breasts annoyingly larger than her own, but still, high school. If Pegasus-san ever learned, she was dead. So dead.

"Do you regret it?" asked Sena.

"No," and it was the truth, despite everything.

"That's sweet," Sena said, sighing as she sat back up, reaching for some panties and pulling them on. "But now I've gotta go. We'll meet again tomorrow, won't we?"

"Huuuhhh, those are mine..."

"I know. That's why we'll meet again. So I can give them back."

It seemed fair, Sora pondered as she tugged Sena's undies up. After all, there was no way they could have done the same thing with their bras...

* * *

**I had no Idea...**

"- and that's my big secret, alright?-!" a blushing Chisame yelled. "Yes, I am Chiu, Virtual Idol, Internet Star! Happy now? That's what I've been hiding this whole time! I bet you're ashamed of me now, aren't you!"

Kodaka boggled at the revelation. "My God, I never knew... and yet... does this make _that_... well..."

Chisame blinked. "Wait. You knew about Chiu's homepage already, didn't you?"

"Ahhhh... well, yes..."

Chisame paled. "Oh dear God, don't tell me _you_..."

"Uh? W-Well, not exactly..."

* * *

_"GAAHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?-!" Kodaka screamed._

_Kobato backed away from the computer, blushing and pulling her skirt back up. "KYYYAAAAA! KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING, WILL YOU?-!"_

* * *

Chisame and Kodaka slowly looked back at Kobato, who made her best attempt to look innocent.

Then she hid her crimson-tinted face behind her patched plush bunny.

* * *

**All for the Imouto**.

Kodaka, Sora and Chisame arrived to the meeting point.

"Hasegawa-kun, Sora-sempai, Chisame-san," Yuuki Rito said, grimly, for once without tripping and falling on Chisame's chest. He was in Let's Get Dangerous Mode. "Let's do this."

"Let's," Kodaka agreed, then looked at another member of the party. "Katsuragi-san? Are you sure you want to go in?"

Katsuragi Keima nodded and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Yes. Even if she isn't related to me by blood, this is still something I have to do. I couldn't look at my own reflection on a game screen if I left her to such a cruel fate."

"Likewise," Emiya Shirou said, gripping the stick in his hand firmly and reinforcing it.

Kyon nodded somberly. "Let's go, then. I don't want to waste any more time."

"Regardless of if we live or die through this... it's the only correct thing to do," Gokou 'Kuroneko' Ruri breathed deeply.

"Nunally!" Lelouch Lamperouge adjusted his Zero mask on. "Your big brother is coming for y-"

"Oh, for the love of-!" Aoyama Tsuruko had enough and just kicked the door open. "Kosaka-san! Give us our Imoutos back!"

She stared at them from the other end of the room, with a crazed glint in her eyes. "Never! All the cute Imoutos must be mine! Kyosuke! Attack them! Defend me! And my collection! My precious, priceless collection!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?-!" her brother cried.

"Wait, we're her what now?" Kobato blinked, looking at the others sitting around the tea table with her.

"I thought we only were here for a tea party..." Motoko confessed.

Elsie looked down at her cup. "Not to be rude, but this needs more milk."

Mikan looked at the ball and chain around her ankle instead. "I _knew_ these weren't just the latest trend in accesories...!"

* * *

**RPG.**

White Mage Sora whined. "I've healed you back to 100%, but I'm all out of curative points now! If we have another random encounter in our way to the village, we're dead...!"

Black Vampire Mage Kobato, however, already was running towards a party of attack wolves, leaving the safety of their cave hideout. "YOU VILE BEASTS! FEEL THE UNHOLY WRATH OF YOUR QUEEN, REISYS V. FELICITY SUMERAGI! BWA HA HA HA HA!"

"Dammit, Kobato!" Paladin Kodaka ran after her, sword in hand. "Not again!"

Elf Thief Chisame sighed deeply, then stayed behind to hack the wolves so they fell like chumps, despite being supposed to be at Level 7.

* * *

Three countries, seven final bosses and an unsatisfactory ending sequence later, Sora leaned back on her chair and breathed out. "W-Well. That was... intense. Although easier than I'd expected..."

"Yeah," Kodaka turned the game off. "From Sena's comments, I had supposed it'd be a lot harder."

"Ha ha ha ha!" Kobato laughed. "Obviously, it'd be a piece of cake for someone as powerful in the dark arts as myself! I did so well, we didn't even really need the useless elf thief who always stayed behind doing not-!"

Chisame ground her teeth together and began pulling on Kobato's cheeks, hard.

* * *

**Meet the Boyfriend.**

"Okay, Dad, guys, it's time to come out clear," Chisame said, although without looking at any of them, instead staring at the floor as if she had just dropped her wallet. "I have... a boyfriend. And I brought him here today to meet you!" she spat it out quickly.

Hasegawa Hayato didn't seem shocked at all. "Okay, sweetie, that's... natural. I guess. Other than the part about him being ten years old, but I'm sure..."

Chisame gave her father a startled look. "What?-!"

"You're Negi-sensei's girlfriend, aren't you?" Kobato asked her. "Everyone knew that!"

"What... NOOOOOO!" Chisame said. "What's your problem, what have you been- Just because we live together, that doesn't mean- NO! He's dating Hakase!"

"But I thought she was dating Shiina-san...?" asked Kodaka.

"He's dating Hakase AND Sakurako!" Chisame elaborated.

"Okay. That's... good to know, then? Brain Bleach, please," Sora weakly said.

Hayato breathed out. "Well, that's a relief! I mean, your Sensei is a nice kid, but I'm relieved I won't have to bail you out of jail! Then, let's meet that no doubt normal and reliable boy who caught your heart..."

"Um, yeah, actually, about that..." Chisame mumbled.

A huge mountain of tanned muscle walked in. "HEY, PAPA! BRO-IN LAW! SIS AND LOLI SIS! I brought the meat for a good ol' grilled meal!" He laughed aloud, dumping a dead boar on the table.

"Dad, Sora-neesan, Kodaka, Kobato, meet Jack," Chisame introduced him. "I met him during my summer vacation..."

Hayato and Sora fainted on each other. Kodaka's face twitched twice. Kobato's gaze traveled up and down the stranger several times, and then she brought the cup of tea back to her now shaky lips and sipped shakily.

* * *

**A Sweet Christmas for my Beloved.**

Kobato stared at the wrapped gift that had just been delivered to their doorstep, reading its tag.

_For my dear Kobato-chan, from Toshiyuki._

"Lolicon," she snorted.

Kodaka also stared at his own, slightly larger wrapped gift, which had been delivered along Kobato's.

_For my appreciated Kodaka-kun, from Toshiyuki._

"... Gay," he mumbled.

Chisame stared, horrified, at her own wrapped gift, which completed the trifecta.

_For my dearest Chiu-chan, from Toshiyuki._

"WHAT THE HELL?-! HOW DID THAT CREEP FIND OUT?-!"

Sora looked around for a fourth gift, failed at finding anything, then began sobbing pathetically.

Her siblings blinked, looked at each other, and then silently handed her their own gifts.

Sadly, neither Kobato's new Goth Loli dress, nor Chisame's magnificent ball dress, nor Kodaka's daring Speedo, would fit her.

* * *

**The Key for Being a Successful Sister.**

Having a club colleague and fellow student who lived with three goddesses, plus having a little sister who regularly hung with a bunch of world saving heroes, had eventually brought Sora, even if it had been through the most indirect of osmosis, into repeated contact with what could be called the supernatural. Of course, here and there she would meet someone who had been in a similar situation to hers, and then she would invariably ask them, after gathering enough courage, how had they gotten closer to their sisters (finding troubled females who had little brothers had proved being surprisingly difficult, so it looked like Kodaka was unlucky again).

Judging from what Elsa Hime-sama, Luna Hime-sama and Kiryuuin-sama had shared with her, apparently the secret was in either losing control over your powers or starting antagonizing your sister openly. Either way, it had to end up in a climactic confrontation that threatened your sister's life, after which you would make up (and optionally kiss, although that sort of creeped Sora out) and your sisterly bond would be strenghtened forever, happily ever after.

"I don't know if I could do that..." Sora had to admit.

Luna shrugged. "It's not like you could actually hurt them, could you?"

That did hurt, but Sora couldn't deny it was true.

Both Chisame and Kobato kicked her ass with extreme ease, which had been all kinds of humiliating considering they were a hikikomori hacker and a delusional child, but what mattered was Defeat Meant Friendship no matter which side won.


	2. Chapter 2

Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai _was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki. _

Mahou Sensei Negima! _was created by Akamatsu Ken. _

Aaa! Megamisama! _was created by Fujishima Kosuke. _

_This was made with no intentions of profit._

* * *

**WHAT IF UNEQUALLY RATIONAL AND EMOTIONAL HAD STARRED ALL THE HASEGAWA SIBLINGS?**

* * *

_One year ago, this happened:_

"You can go in without any fear, Hasegawa-san. There's nothing wrong in there."

A bigger lie had never been told before.

But trusting the busty woman's voice, since it was as sweet as honey and as trust-inspiring as an angel's, the young Chisame had nodded and walked in following her siblings inside. Only to stop immediately as soon as she heard Kobato's shrill shriek of terror, and Sora and Kodaka's loud gasps of surprise. And Chisame herself couldn't help but yelping in horror at the sight of the scene waiting for them instead.

There was a naked mannequin of sorts over the room's main table, lying on its back with its vacant green eyes fixed on the roof above. The weird thing was the mannequin blinked at random intervals, and its chest rose up and then came down in a blasphemous imitation of human breathing, and its hands wiggled their long thin fingers as the girl looming over the doll's body worked on its mechanical entrails, her face covered by a wielding mask that barely allowed to see her black pigtails poking out of the back of her head.

"Sh-Shizuna-sensei!" Chisame screeched, rushing back to clash against the tall blonde's stomach. "What's that girl doing there?"

"Oh my God, it's the scene of a murder!" Kodaka quickly deduced, rushing to step in between the bizarre happening and the hysterically wailing Kobato, who clung onto him from behind.

Sora nearly fainted back, fanning herself with a hand. "Ah! My goodness! O-O-O-Okay, everyone just stay calm… AND RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!"

"AAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!" Kobato buried her small cute face into Kodaka's back.

"Oh my!" the adult woman looked in, contemplating the delirious situation for a moment before calling out, "Hakase-san!"

"What?" a muffled question came from inside the mask. The masked girl's thin frame, hunchbacked over her awfully messy work, covered all over by large and smelly spots of grease, oil, and some substance eerily similar to thick, crimson blood, didn't move away from her labor at all.

"Hakase-san!" Minamoto Shizuna insisted. "Stop that immediately, or else you'll be reported to the Dean! I thought we had agreed you wouldn't bring your experiments here! You already have your own laboratory for that!"

Finally, that had made her to turn her welder off and lift the mask off her cute, bespectacled, dirty face. She gave the mature female a somewhat wounded look.

"B-But I'm almost reaching my deadline! If I want to finish before—"

"No excuses," Shizuna said, gentle but firm. "It's just rude to use the dorms for that, especially now you have housemates."

"I'm not going to be her housemate!" Chisame had quickly protested.

"You mean we gotta room with a _girl_?!" Kodaka asked, hugging the sobbing Kobato tightly against himself.

"This is a very confusing development," Sora babbled, eyes spinning behind her glasses.

"Now, now," the blond woman had calmly taken a hold of Chisame, apparently picking her at random from between her siblings, and pushed her forward, towards the other girl and the robot thing. "Like I said before, there's no need to fear, Hasegawa-san. She is a girl your own age, and not too unlike yourself. Hakase-san, this is Hasegawa Chisame, the student I mentioned to you earlier. And these are her siblings, Sora-san, Kodaka-kun and Kobato-chan. Ladies and gentleman; this is Hakase Satomi, your fellow student and housemate for the rest of the year, and hopefully beyond."

Chisame cringed while looking at the freak's face. And the freak looked back, with large and curious black eyes, full with an eccentric spark not too unlike that of a drunken monkey. Eyes that were pretty much the only clean thing in that face splattered all over with ill smelling chemical leftovers.

The freak was the one to break the awkward silence with an unfazed, "When did you mention any housemates?"

"Last week," Shizuna fought the vein threatening to pop up into her forehead back down. "I remind you we are coming short of residences for the new students, so your parents agreed to lend this apartment in trade for a special compensation."

"I don't remember that," the Hakase girl replied.

"I even left you a reminder note over your fridge," the sensei stated.

"You did?" the strange girl craned her neck back towards a door and into her kitchen. "Oh, it's true! Yes, I think I do remember now."

Chisame gave another imploring desperate stare up at the tall and attractive female. Sadly, she seemed unmoved by her plight, despite her soft smile and her patting on the poor girl's shoulders.

_"She needs someone close around at all times to remind her about such things,"_ Shizuna whispered. _"She is a good girl. You'll get along well."_

The mannequin chose that moment to creepily rotate her eyes towards Chisame, scaring her and her siblings even more.

"Eeek!" they cried as one, proving they did share the same bloodline.

Shizuna barely could hold her down by the shoulders enough to prevent her from running away. "Oh dear, I forgot to introduce her! I'm terribly sorry. Everyone, that is Karakuri Chachamaru, another one of Chisame-san's future classmates at 1-A."

"A-Are you telling me that's a—Ah, sorry, I never meant to!" Kodaka blushed fiercely, taking his eyes as far from the naked prone form as he could.

"So this is a chamber of human tortures!" Sora began biting her fingernails off frantically.

"What? She's the anatomic display for the class, you mean!" the brown haired girl quickly corrected the faculty member.

"Pleased to meet you, Hasegawa-san, all of you," the thing spoke with a soft, polite, but perfectly inhuman and sterile voice. "I will be glad to help you with anything I can."

Then it reached up with a hand, grabbing one of Chisame's to give it a gentle and feminine shake.

"Kyaaaa!" Chisame screeched, scared out of her wits. It was so cold! Like a corpse's!

She let the heavy handbags she was carrying to fall down and still attempted to escape, only to immediately stumble into the conveniently placed and firmly planted shapely body of Minamoto-sensei. "Please, you can't do this! You have to reassign me, I mean us!" she begged.

"That's right! So I command!" Kobato whined.

"It just has to be a misunderstanding…" Kodaka tried to reason.

"I'm afraid all other rooms are full by now," Shizuna commented, now almost sounding sympathetic, passing a hand through Chisame's hair. "Don't worry. Karakuri-san won't be spending most of her time here. She sleeps at the workshop."

"Actually, I haven't programmed her to follow sleep patterns yet," the dirty weirdo piped in. "I don't think I will, actually. Too bothersome, and there are more efficient ways to recharge energy. Oh, sorry. My manners."

She walked briskly to Chisame and quickly took her hands into a much firmer, almost tomboyish, rather clumsy handshake. "Excuse my forgetting you! I have been in an absorbing nonstop finishing procedure for Chachamaru for the last few weeks, and I haven't had the time for much else, I'm afraid. Want to watch?" she offered.

"Hakase-san, I think I have just told you to stop doing that here," Shizuna repeated herself.

"Oh, yes. That..." Hakase sighed, disappointed, in the middle of waddling towards the paralyzed Sora to shake her hands next.

Chisame made a face, looking down at the prone object they seemed to be trying to pass as some sort of human being. "What... what is this... Why are you..."

"I am an artificial intelligence developed under commission of the Mahora Robotics Club," the mannequin informed flatly. "I am going to enlist in this year's first grade class A as a test of my capacities regarding interaction with Japanese modern society. As such, I eagerly look forward my continuing intermingling with your gracious person and your relatives, Hasegawa-san."

"S-Stop that!" Chisame gasped. "The fact you're being so polite just makes you scarier!"

"She's right, she's right!" Kobato accused, hiding behind the boy again. "It's creepy and freaky and I don't want it around!"

"Kobato-chan, please, calm down," Sora asked softly, more out of a sense of habit and routine duty than anything else.

"Um, maybe I should readjust her speech patterns. Less flowery, more concise and to the point, okay? Okay. I got it," the Dr. Frankenstein wannabe absently stated while wiping her hands clean with a towel that had been lying on a nearby chair. She then handed it over to Chisame, who only then noticed her own hands were just as dirty after the mad scientist's handshake. With a disgusted grimace, she was fast to wipe them as clean as she could. "Yes, that's it. So you'll excuse me if I don't shake hands with the rest of you after all. You all seem excessively impressionable, if I may say so."

"It's okay; we understand completely, don't worry…" Kodaka answered her.

"Maybe you should ingest some medication for that?" Hakase suggested. "I happen to know a few reputable specialists..."

The whole living room was an absolute mess, as a matter of fact, and she was sure the rest of the apartment would be even worse. Would she have to clean all of that up? Or rather, would she have to make Kodaka clean all of that up? She couldn't set a webcamera and allow her just started community of fans to watch... _THAT!..._ around herself. Her wonderful web project would die in its crib!

But of course, the girl with the messy pigtails who was looking at them couldn't care any less about any of that, could she? She was just there, smiling as a dumb frat boy who had just farted.

Finally, Chisame dared to make the question she had been dreading for the last few minutes.

"Umm... where is the bathroom, please?"

"Well, heh heh," Hakase Satomi scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. "I don't think any of you should walk in there just yet. You'll see, I was testing Chachamaru's water endurance there a few hours ago, and—"

Chisame bit her lower lip, whimpering under her breath.

That would be a hideously long school year.

Kobato had started crying again, hugging her patched plush bunny.


End file.
